Gotcha

Vicar · Gotcha

Well, I finally found it. I've been seeing references to "the other place" on the main board for a while and wondered if it still meant The House of Lords. After a while I began to suspect that there was an secret society extant in Tendring that talked to each other by posting messages that were still there the next day. And then someone slipped the url into a post and I spotted it. I wouldn't be surprised if their body is found hanging under a bridge over the Thames next week.
This really looks like a better place for the frank exchange of (adult) opinions and I'm sure you are all worthy to be called humans as well as citizens of Tendring.
I'm off now to have a read on what I've been missing. I promise not to tell anyone about our little secret.

God bless you all.

frankie

evening vicar
hope i didnt upset too many people on the other site,on the thread for Recommendations i put this place under my ailias cfc.
cfc

Joined: 29 Dec 2006
Posts: 16

Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:57 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i would recommend having a look on talkclacton.myfastforum.org
well worth a look.

Vicar

I'm sure you didn't.
Though if I were you and my doorbell rang at 4.00 in the morning I probably wouldn't answer it. Nuff said?

I'll pray for you.

EssexGurl

Hello Vicar - welcome to the mad house.

Fancy a cuppa tea? Laughing

frankie

essex gurl you beat me to the gag Evil or Very Mad

Vicar

EssexGurl

awwww Frankie - you can still offer him - more tea vicar

Vicar

Vicar

Those messages came in too fast for coherent replies. I am sure there is one above who could put them into an order that makes sense.

Me however? I am now outside a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon Rose 13.5% and no longer have any feeling below my neck. Such is the power of prayer.

PS I still think the pavements in Clacton are a disgrace.

Lin

Hi Vicar ...welcome to the mad house.
Pavements a disgrace ....dont get me started ,why in your bosses name ,did someone think that White would be a good choice for the pavements in town.Already collecting chewing gum ,yuk.
You don't have to be mad to post here ,but ,it really helps if you are.
It's going to be quiet today as Ivan is orf to the Big Smoke and probably won't be seen for ages due to him having to 'fast' and we don't mean that from a religious point of view.
If he isn't back on line by teatime we will have to search every snack van along the length of the A12.

frankie

Lin

not sure but I do know he has a labrador Laughing

frankie

Lin

I did go down that way yesterday ,but bottled it when I saw the pandemonium that was going on .Did a quick turn into Rosemary Road West and headed down to the hospital behind an elderly couple who were completely flummoxed by it all.They stopped at the new junction near the Police Station and I could see the husbands arms waving about in sheer frustration.
Ivan said I am allowed to ride my bike anywhere I want but I am in need of a tractor seat to fit my comfy cushion.
Shame I'm not old enough for one of them scooty tings ,they look fun ,It would appear you don't need any training to drive one and you can go 'off road' through the shops ,shouting at everyone to GET OUT MY WAY !!!!.
Drive on the road at 2mph and hold up all the traffic ,pull wheelies ,and be a general nuisance.
Want one ??????

ivan burit

Morning peeps, never done the fast thing after all.....Woke up with headache though, too much sleep i tink....... Felt like i was back on nights, shudder at the thought........As its not TOO bad out, might take myself and me 2 russels for a walk on the beach, will either tire me out, or make me feel better...... eeny meeny miny mo, what part of jaywick, shall the running dogs go..........ok, i`ve lost it this early again....lol..

Lin

Morning Ivan ,cor Jack Russells ,brilliant little dogs ,my Dad had them ,you do know they live forever .Dads made 21,20 ,19 and another is still going strong at 18.Used to take them rabbiting over Gt Holland.
So we haven't got to worry about you up the smoke then.

ivan burit

mornin Lin, no, me ok today `ish. me russels are cindy, or is it sindy...lol...2 1/2, and snoop doggy snoop, 1 1/2, and they run and run and run........i dont do running, so its a good job they come back innit.....when i`m walking them of a night in and around darkest jaywick, i call out SIN....SIN......LOL....LOL.....OR SNOOP....SNOOP.....LOL...i do get funny looks................lol...........do it on purpose really......

Lin

Ivan ...you are incorrigible....we used to have a Rhodesian Ridgeback ,instead of calling her by her given name we used to call her Pooh Bear .So ,late at night you could hear my husband shouting Pooh ,Pooh at the top of his voice when she vanished into the darkness over the Leisure centre.We didn't have the heart to tell him about the funny looks from passers-by.

amenity

Lin said,
"Hi Vicar ...welcome to the mad house.
Pavements a disgrace ....dont get me started ,why in your bosses name ,did someone think that White would be a good choice for the pavements in town.Already collecting chewing gum ,yuk. "

I am against tax rises and think inventing new ones is wrong in concept, however, chewing gum removal tax applied and Mac doughnuts tax applied at purchase I could stomach.

Dog end tax too.

Yours killjoy

Lin

I hate chewing gum ,never wanted to try it .You talk to someone whilst they are chewing it and it's like watching washing going round and round in their mouths ,disgusting habit ,thinks they should put the price up and tax it to extinction.
OK I used to have the occasional Hubba Bubba in my very mis-spent youth but I would never dream of spitting it out onto the pavement.Would you eat a sandwich and then proceed to spit it on the floor ????it's the same principle.

Also think that before anyone buys a Mc donalds they should be taken and made to exercise for an hour before hand.

Oh ,the man who chose the colour for the slabs was shown a colour chart and he pointed out the one he wanted with a white stick Smile

Don't even get me started on dog ends ,I do smoke ,but my Dad used to say "if ever I catch you outside ,on the street with a ciggie ,I'll read you your horoscope Wink

"
I never smoke outside to this day and absolutely hate it when you walk out of a shop into a face full of cigarette smoke ,because some folk cannot enter a shop and go without nicotine for 5 mins.
Tinks I'm turning into a Grumpy Old Woman

Are you coming on the Pram Race Amenity??????

frankie

so lin are we going to start a petition for the reinstatement of the pram race Laughing

i might have to do some training tonight,thats not dressing up as a baby but the pub crawl side,i need it after a hard week at work.

frankie..... clock watching,wishing it was 4pm

Vicar

Lin

Hi Vicar
I think it was cigarette end tax that was mentioned ,must admit I thought it meant dogs as well.Talking of dogs ect I have found that most of the dog owners I meet are responsible about picking up ,unfortunately it only takes one or two to spoil things.
I take a roll of sandwich bags with me and if I spot someone leaving their dogs doings I offer them one .I usually say " oooh ,have you forgotten your bag ?, "in an innocent voice and they normally take up the offer.

Vicar

I've been acting thick for so long that everyone believes it now

Lin

Oh ,you're not thick ,because I read it the same way ........crikey Shocked

does that mean I'm .....noooooo ...it can't possibly be true.......

EssexGurl

Vicar

[/quote]I was once in favour of this too, but as dog owners seem to be getting more responsible and usually carry pooper scoopers nowadays I've moderated my view.[/quote]

I really did understand the original "dog-end tax" post. The above was an attempt (feeble) at humour. Mea maxima culpa. I will endeavour to do better in the future

Vicar

What I meant was that I pretended to misunderstand the "dog-end tax" in a feeble (and obviously failed) attempt at humour. I will try to do better in the future.

frankie

Lin

But ,Sir ,he is a learned man wiv education and me ...a revolting uneducated peasant ,his humour is way above mine.
I must try harder

Vicar

But not so learned that he doesn't post the same message twice because he thought that the first one had disappeared. Sad

The thought has just occurred to me, if everyone tries harder as promised above there is no limit to what we might accomplish. For starters I suggest the establishment of an interim govenment in Jaywick (anybody got any ideas for the post of emperor?) and then a couple of weeks later we could march on Colchester. Although perhaps it might be wiser to start on Great Bentley and work our way up. Practice makes perfect. Of course the Emperor (I*** the 1st?) would need the services of a well paid chaplain and naturally anyone supporting my candidacy for the post would be entitled to the purchase of indulgences at a discounted rate for a period of six months.

Blessing you all in anticipation.

V.

PS I bet Hitler never went from dog's bottoms to annexing the Sudetenland in just a few posts. Such is the power of the internet. (Bows head humbly)

Lin

Yup you can now say you are a member of the mad house.
Can't we take a circular route and invade Frinton first.. Laughing

can I be Flag Bearer????????

EssexGurl

Wouldnt it be better to take Harwich before colchester - we can use the port to transport things up the river.

Vicar

Er I think you'll find that most of it was taken over by a strange race some whileago (Visi-gates?). I would prefer not to mess with them if it's all the same to you.

EssexGurl

hmmmmmmm.......I wanted to be a princess Crying or Very sad

Lin

Typical EssexGirl only interested in the Bling Laughing

Vicar

Lin

OMG she's even got a tiara Shocked

.... :............. says the peasant crawling back to her shack in the woods to her 22 children grubbing about in the undergrowth.... Wink

EssexGurl

Vicar

Don't put yourself down Lin. Someone has to stay at home and breed stormtroopers. It could have been me, it happened to be you. It's as grand and glorious a calling as being a princess without the hassle of being driven everywhere and opening schools and hospitals. (Am I showing my age here?)
My diary is clear next Wednesday. Is that all right with everyone else?

EssexGurl

I have to open hospitals!!! Do I have to go near ill people???

Wednesday is good for me.....shall I pack us some sandwiches and a flask of tea?

Lin

and one of those nice tartan picnic rugs ,after all we don't want to get damp posteriors by sitting on the wet grass.
Are we painting our faces with blue woad to scare the life out of them
....YIPEEE...the peasants really are revolting.

Vicar

Sorry. I can't make Wednesday after all. Have to take mother-in law to Clacton for a blood test to amend her Warfarin dosage. It's a matter of priorities. Keep M-I-L happy or take over the world. As I said, "Sorry".

However don't let that stop you going ahead with "THE PLAN". History is peppered with tales of great female warriors.
There was Boadicea who also stormed Colchester. She's buried under a platform at King's Cross Station. Apparently when she got to Colchester they found that she had travelled without a ticket and they hadn't invented the "on the spot fine" then and they didn't pussyfoot around with faredodgers in those days.
And there was Joan of Arc whose biggest mistake was not stopping smoking. She invented the defense, "The voices told me to do it", which I have used successfully on a number of occasions.
And then there was Margaret Thatcher.
And I'm not making a very good case here am I?
One suggestion. In the unlikely event that the whole fiasco goes pear-shaped, it's a good idea to have a scapegoat ready. I suggest you take along some spotty oik that nobody likes much, slap a post-it note on his back saying his name's Perkin Warbeck or something similar and make sure he walks at the front. It got my grandad and his mates out of a sticky situation in 1495 and I'm sure it could work for you.
On conclusion of a successful foray, the Emperor and I will be delighted to receive you in the Wimpy Bar in Station Road for a Quarterpounder WITH chips followed by a shareout of the spoils. This will be followed by a victory parade to where the wino's benches used to be outside the Edinburgh Woollen Mill where the Emperor will make a short (ha) speech and announce the date for the issue of the ultimatum to Ipswich.

Of course there may be dreadful dangers involved but rest assured that no matter how frightful and desperate your situation may seem you can always take comfort from the fact that I shall be praying for you in my underground Holland on Sea bunker.

God bless you all and I insist on paying for the chips.

frankie

i seem to have missed all the fun this weekend Sad

i went to see The Last King Of Scotland at the pictures and i would reccomend this film to everyone,not that im barry norman.
i have a habit of falling asleep at the pictures but this film kept me gripped right until the end.
oh another reccomendation, i went to see chelsea play as i do every weekend,karl duigud change your team!!
hope you all had a good weekend Smile