Insomniacs. or what?

Vicar · Insomniacs. or what?

This is an excerpt from an email I received from the other site. I thought it was dying on its bottom so I was astonished to see the high rate of users.

"Dear Blogger,

Just to up-date you on news from our website TalkClacton.com and our sister site, www.ClactonTV.com.

* On Monday this week, a record 34 people were on the site at the same time."

As a professional cynic I looked at the bottom of the home page to see what had happened and found this:

.....We have 173 registered users
The newest registered user is _tyes_reloi_
In total there are 3 users online :: 2 Registered, 0 Hidden and 1 Guest [ Administrator ] [ Moderator ]
Most users ever online was 34 on Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:11 am

Now, am I mistaken or does that say that of all the registered users, 20% were on line at 4 in the morning on St George's Day?

What's going on? Was it a secret party? And if so why wasn't I invited?
Did everyone wake up at 4 o'clock and find themselves unable to resist the urge to log on in case Douglas needed them?

Or did something go wrong with the little man who sits there and counts the number of users on line.

Whatever it was I think boasting about the phenomenal statistic should have waited until the facts were checked.

For the record, I am a 6 ft Johnny Depp look-alike with unlimited funds and an eighty bedroom mansion in Holland on Sea staffed by 400 skivies on a 12-hour shift system. Two of my security crew are employed solely to ensure that members of the Royal family do not get near enough to bother me for autographs.
This is the internet. Everything you read here is true.

Lin

Hi Your holiness(only the Pope gets a capital H)
I too got that e mail and quite honestly thought it was a bit odd.I have logged out of Talk Clacton and pop in and out whenever the fancy takes me and am not registered so they don't know what my movements are.Frankly I would like to know how all these peeps were there at the same time as I am usually the only person looking at the site whenever I pop in.Ok ,on odd occasions ,there are a couple of others ,probably doing what I am doing ,being nosey.
Decided I had nothing to offer a site that is so hugely ,obviously bigotted against anyone who does not agree with what Big Brother says.
At least here we put fingers to keyboard and write.where are the messages from these supposed 34 people? ...nope you guessed it nothing to say ...probably foriegners having a look and registering as SPAMMERS as a lot of the membership over there is dominated by strange names from equally strange places pretending to offer a cure for those wobbly bits only the men have(oooh just remembered my wobbly bits Embarassed

,best keep quiet).
Do you know that every time you pop in or out of that site you become a statistic ,so ,just say I was browsing the web and popped in a couple of times to see who is online ...that makes me 2 people .....probably some silly little boy with nothing to do at that time of night ,popping in and out.
Just a pity that the so called 34 visitors were all silent with nothing to say ,nothing to offer and probably just there checking the tide time tables on the wrong site by mistake.
No Sorry not taken in by spin anymore......
By the way I am a 5'9'' size zero model with beautiful long blonde(natural) hair ,single ,fabulously wealthy with two pools 45 bedrooms , a sheik as my neighbour and can boast about my time spent across the globe with my royal cousins .Now I have my fingers in my ears and cannot hear anyone who disagrees with me ,so I KNOW I AM RIGHT SO THERE....
By the way ,i was not there as proposing a toast to St George is far more important than reading some of the tosh on DC's site
At this rate they will have to grease all the door frames in the House of Commons to allow easy acess of very big heads.....

Vicar

I totally agree Lin. As an example of how not to run a successful and interesting website it's a superb example of how not to etc. etc.

I find a visit there is rather like visiting a comatose hospital patient. You really don't expect to see any improvement but you can't help looking in from time to time on the off-chance.

I loved your self-description. I'm sure I saw you draped across the centre pages of this month's issue of Essex Girls With Unfeasably Large Hooters. I buy it every month for the extremely informative gardening pages and the fiendishly challenging Sudoku section.

I shall pray for you, Mind you, from your description you sound like exactly what I've been praying for for the last 60 years. Ho hum.

Lin

Yeah but at least on the 'Dark Side 'we have a sense of humour.....off now to the hairdressers to have my blonde(natural) roots dyed black so I can pop out to the poundstretcher shop without drawing too much attention to my obvious good looks Rolling Eyes

ivan burit

Oh my gord, what a palarver.......
Funny, but i too found it a bit strange in my recieved mail section....
As we are in the "funny" season still, (may 3rd)....It all goes pear shaped at the drop of a hat.......

Vicar · Re: Insomniacs. or what?

Lin

AMEN Vicar...there you go all blessed and happy. Cool

As for the 'silly boy'..I notice he is standing for election as a councillor ,now if anything was to deter me from voting ...that would definitely be the catalyst for it.Luckily he is not in my ward so I have not got to go to the bother of heckling him.I just feel sorry for the misguided fools if they do vote him in.Free sweeties for all ect. Twisted Evil

Any how I have gorn off topic .
What a night we all had last night 6,987,001 of us all on line here together ,hope you all enjoyed it as I thought it was a blast.
See ,we can exagerate here too.. Wink

ivan burit

Oh dear, what have the "sane" voting public done in TDC local elections..

We have a school boys charter to be had now........

If said school boys showed of a bit on another web site, god help us now..
Still, i`ve been told that Mums are good sometimes.........

OK, summit else now.......

You can all blame me for the rain last night.............

I spent hours yesterday watering my, my neighbours and my daughters gardens....
As our houses are all built on what was once the beach, the soil quality is very poor, with not much soil at all.......

So when we dont have rain for a long time, the poor old grass goes a nasty shade of yellow very quickly.........

It was hartwarming though, to know that person who watches over us all had decieded to make sure i had done the job well.....

As i type this, the above person is chuckling as the sun has popped out again...

For me, one of lifes loves, is to cut grass..To this end, i now own two nice motor mowers, one was purchased to cut the grass in Brooklands public access areas, which i / we done on occasion, but with the demise of me walking away from the old F.O.B`s, one now never gets used....
I look at all the uncut grass in the Brooklands and Grasslands area and wonder why someone else does not cut it.....But there you go.....

In Thursdays Gazette, page 6 it carried a story about Jaywick as having a "twin" over in Kent, in a place called Studd Hill, part of Herne Bay, Kent.....

The full story about this i have yet to find out, but it would appear that it is VERY simular to our beloved Jaywick, possably being built by the same family, years ago..

It even has very simular road names, and houses that sit either side of unmade roads also.......

The main difference i can see in the news paper article are that houses over in Kents "Brooklands" are about £100,000 dearer per house......

So whatever you do, dont tell our social landlords, as their housing stock will add £millions to its portfolio overnight.........

I will endever to find out more about Stud Hill Property Owners Association...

If anyone else know anything about them.....Come on down....And give us the info...Please.....

So, its a goodbye for now from Ivan the Terrible, the Gold Coast explorer...lol..

Insomniacs. or what?

Re: Insomniacs. or what?