Short stories from the world of the Gold Coast Reporter

ivan burit · Short stories from the world of the Gold Coast Reporter

As we have been having "trouble" with a post`ee that calls himself a TROLL.........My short stories for your reading........
Story time :: Do Trolls drive Volvos

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Once upon a time in Trondleheim was a little Troll town.
These poor little trolls felt very unsure about themselves, so they asked the local motor maker to make them nice little cars that were so safe that they could drive around in feeling superiour to all before them........
Before long, most Trolls had purchased one of them fine cars made for them, they came with such marvelous features as standard, that most other trolls could only dream about when shopping for a trollmobile..
To make it easier to spot a fellow Troll, the Trollmobile makers made sure that all before them saw them driving along the road, so easily with headlights on shining brightly.......
The Troll community were all so pleased that everybody saw their trollmobile cars, that all the Trolls from all over the Troll kingdom were happy....
Now its about this time that Trolls had enjoyed Trollmobile cars being so bright and so safe, but so heavy that it made them go so slow, and the troll community looked at other less loved community groups cars and saw to their horror that some non trollmobile cars looked and went so much faster than theirs....
One particular group of people had cars so bright and shiney that they never needed the cars lights to be on at all in the daylight, because the new groups cars were just soo nice.......
And so it can to be that the new groups cars were called best motoring workhorses..
Now this was such a long name for such a brillient new groups cars, that shone so brightly in the daytime that everybody, including the poor old Trolls in their oh soo slow cars all began to want one, and be the same as the new groups....
The problem was that as trolls, they were despised by non-Trolls, as non-trolls did not understand just why Trolls were such a sad bunch, that spent all their time looking at the cars that non trolls drove.......
So in the end, the new group shortend the name of their cars to make it easier for the sad, but dim Trolls to read...
The new groups cars were called from now on as..B..M..W....
lol.........lol.........

And so, we have another story that talks of a car "make" but you have to guess what it is, and who`s car it was about....
Clues.....In Jaywick, he is a "leader" of sorts, but loved, or hated, he does his job........................uuummmmmmmmmmmmm...lol....
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As news of other long lost trolls came into being, the leader of the long lost Trolls heard over the wii fi that a new super bread of Trolls had been found living in a jungle near to the sea in a long lost place they spoke of as born- mouths..
The folklore of the born-mouths was such that all living trolls that drive safely driving trollmobiles, were wispering about this strange new demon that lived among the sea dwellers at born-mouths..
This devil like demon was only just seen in a flash of an eye as it dashed around howling like a banshee into the cold and damp dark nights in and out of the trees...
Now Trolls, were not the most loved of annimals at the best of times, more so if the new group non trolls were seen around in the daylight, as it was well known that real trolls liked to be not seen or heard, but used to talk to other Trolls by way of strange things and goings on, and it was wispered by the strange trolls things like open link, or wii-fi, or other demonic devises, or so it was said by the renegade lonly lost troll of an indescriminant place...
One day, in the deepest darkest place on earth, amounst the trees, was seen a flash of the new beast from the woods...
It had strange letters painted down both sides, almost like cave man paintings, but, strange, with numbers unknown to other non-Trolls....
it had strange signs on them, like shooting stars in the night sky, painted in gold...
This new found beast made a noise like no other when you came upon it suddenly, it was truly a wild annimal, but it needed to be tamed like any other wild thing....
It was also seen that groups of non-trolls waited in the dark damp trees to follow this howling beast, and to shout and cheer as it went through the trees, as if to make its pain and howling more so....
You only ever saw other non-trolls tied up inside this howling beast as it went past, and as to hide from the Trolls and non-trolls, the inside the beast non-Trolls had made to cover their heads and parts of their faces, and as if to confuse the outside people, the inside the beast people wore strange clothes that looked the same as each other.........
They were like a pair of strange twins inside the beast, as it went howling past in the night....

After many long nights, the Trolls were sent to find and capture one of these beasts...
They went in disguise, they went as non-trolls to hope to confuse other non-trolls, into letting them have at least one of their howling beasts, and so a secret password was made to let other Trolls know just what they were talking about.........
Along with that most secret of words was a colour of the beast...
The Trolls did not want to tell all of the non-Trolls what the beast was doing, but decieded to carry a big tin of dark blue paint to hide the beast in the non-Troll land where many other beasts were roaming about....
And so the day came to go and capture the howling beast from the forest of born-mouths, and of the Trolls went along with that most secret of words.........scooby-doo...........

Just upon hearing that word---scooby-doo.....most of the Trolls jumped for joy, knowing that very soon, the Trolls would have their very own wild beast, be it a white one, a silver one, or the favorite colour blue one............But they shuddered at the thought about taming the beast on the long way home from born-mouths...........

And so it came to pass, that the dim but true Trolls from the depths of darkest Troll Town came to be in charge of the veritable beast from the dark damp forest of born-mouths, and they seemed to live happy ever after..............

Or so they thought...
That veritable beast with the strange stars painted along the sides, that carried the name of scooby-doo, can and will bite you in the most painfull of places, in your trousers, on the tops of your legs in little cloth pockets with flexible plastic cards in them, that cry and cry for feeding once a month..

poor old Troll got well and truly knobbled when his strange scooby=doo wild beast had to go and see the wild annilmal vets for making it better, so that when it came back it made the non-Trolls laugh to see the old but now wise Trolls many pounds lighter..........

And so the Trolls still live together with their captured wild animal with the strange shooting stars painted along its sides and its wild howling can still be heard in the night as it escapes from the Troll land of little tin boxes all aranged into neat lines as far as the eyes can see...

The moral of the story can only be that one troll cannot be thought of as better than the next Troll, or even non-trolls, as if you capture wild howling strange beasts, they can, and they will, got their own back when your not looking............

And that makes your tiny little oblong bits of plastic cry for many- many months and months...

And so my tired and weary readers, did you guess what car make it was, or who it refured to, and just how much was spent on it when it went wrong.........ha..ha..ha...
Let me know your guesses, and i`ll tell you true.......mateys.......

ivan burit

Not so much a short story..........
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What can happen if your not too carefull if you move away.

Hearne bay its miles away
its another place for you to stay
you can visit it for just a day
its fun to find to go and say
i`ve been to visit just for the day

but you can move and not come back
you can even leave your tired old shack
leaving friends and foes and tat
fresh new homes and welcome mat

places to see and visit with glee
new bright estates next to the sea
who will visit to drive to see me
sitting all happy looking over the sea

but when you look so hard with glass
you seem to think about your past
neighbours gone their days the last
bright coloured bungalows taken to task

regenened and bright and fresh and new
but lacking its communities favorite few
the newbies purchase and try with might
to bring good standing without old fright

old brooklands now cold and distant past
with its owners who fought each to the last
standing stories 3 tall the views all can see
that old Gold Coast just next to the sea

the cost for this is heavens high
stories 3 reach up near to the sky
but fortunes for the many not like you
but costly houses thats for the chosen few.

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