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Ivans 18+ Forum
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frankie



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 88
Location: clacton

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:32 pm    Post subject: Ivans 18+ Forum Reply with quote

Over to you Ivan Wink

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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He's very quiet ....it's all his meetings wearing him out ''''''Rolling Eyes'''''
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frankie



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

perhaps he has run out of fuel on his scooter or miss whiplash has taken him hostage Shocked
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He could be lost ,alone out there on the marshes in his camoflage jeep after a spot of night welding at 'the gates' ...crikey '''''''' Shocked'''''''' ''''''' Surprised '''''''
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frankie



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 88
Location: clacton

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

or he could be mounting a border patrol!
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EssexGurl



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 222

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lin wrote:
He could be lost ,alone out there on the marshes in his camoflage jeep after a spot of night welding at 'the gates' ...crikey '''''''' Shocked'''''''' ''''''' Surprised '''''''


Is that a euphanism for something else?? lol
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frankie



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 88
Location: clacton

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

EssexGurl wrote:
Lin wrote:
He could be lost ,alone out there on the marshes in his camoflage jeep after a spot of night welding at 'the gates' ...crikey '''''''' Shocked'''''''' ''''''' Surprised '''''''


Is that a euphanism for something else?? lol


now that actually made me laugh out loud Laughing
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

frankie wrote:
EssexGurl wrote:
Lin wrote:
He could be lost ,alone out there on the marshes in his camoflage jeep after a spot of night welding at 'the gates' ...crikey '''''''' Shocked'''''''' ''''''' Surprised '''''''


Is that a euphanism for something else?? lol


now that actually made me laugh out loud Laughing
....fanks peeps, fame at larst........sorry, i was elsewhere last night for a while, and i dont mean i was thinking of summit else either (well, ok, i was....lol..)... as you can see by the time of this post, i have been up with the larks....no,no, not larking about with............lol....spk ltr, naughty peeps......ivan.b....ps....just spotted "welding".....is that when you join together two or more pieces with a lot of "heat"...?....lol...
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Last edited by ivan burit on Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cor Ivan ,you had us worried ,we were thinking of mounting a search party.
Nice to know I am not the only one up with the larks ,though they would have trouble flying in this wind.
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:46 am    Post subject: ivans daily jornals Reply with quote

moring Lin, well windy next to the sea, been up for hours... got to go now, as me mrs got hospital at 9-30......so much to do = so little time....lol....IVAN.B.
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snap !!!! We have an appointment at 915 look out for a harrassed Granny with a stroppy 10 year old...he's hoping the hospital blows away...
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, we went, we waited, we got seen (mrs got seen, youcannot fail to notice me..)..we went for blood test....we waited.....we got seen.... we then went to tesco`s..... poor old mrs (not old - me old !) tried to walk round tescos but so much pain... ( me ? ).. so had to go and sit in the "bucket"... now your thinking why sit in a bucket....lol.... bucket is pet name for £150 taxed and tested lada that son bought for his "winter" car, as ivan the terribles car has thrown a wobbly, and aforsaid ivan said its too blody cold to fix it yet......used to love fixing cars, now got to get all fired up to do anything to em now......oh the joys of youth, when young mens fancy bit was topless and racey...................zephyr convertable you naughty lot, funny though, thinking back, it did see some action that old thing....lol...the car,... women........lol......ok, lost meself now, all them flashbacks.....in tescos, i did see a young man in a maroon jumper saying hello to me ?.....not many people say hello lately, must be my haircut or something.....i ended up buying all good green food, as i had a fright last night, i got on the scales, i had to look behind to see if anyone else had put a foot on the scales also..........so its rabbit food for a while for me...........no jokes about what rabbits get up to either, its called thought association or something..... all those little bunny tales jerking in and out........lol........ivan.b.
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EssexGurl



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 222

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wahoo Ivans on fine form tonight
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Ivan
Hope the OH is feeling better ,she's very quiet ,must be cos she can't get a word in edgeways Laughing
Not the dreaded wait for the blood tests ,we went one day and waited 1and half hours outside ,blow that for a lark.Its enough to make you come over giddy.
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:50 am    Post subject: when never to talk..lol... Reply with quote

Lin wrote:
Hi Ivan ...SORRY PEEPS, NOT BEEN VERY ACTIVE TONIGHT..(STOP THAT YOU IN THE BACK)...AS THE LARKS WOKE ME, I GOT ME OWN BACK AN FEL ASLEEP FOR AN HOUR OR 2.....
Hope the OH is feeling better ,she's very quiet ,must be cos she can't get a word in edgeways Laughing ....As my dearest gave me two daughters, i know all about not getting anything like my own way.....lol...now you know why my "best mate" is my "little" boy.....sexist...me...nah...
Not the dreaded wait for the blood tests ,we went one day and waited 1and half hours outside ,blow that for a lark.Its enough to make you come over giddy.
...dont larf.. i have to go to romford for a blood test...ok, ?....but its a "fasting" blood test.....i`d better drive bloody fast or i`ll waste away.....lol....
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:12 am    Post subject: SWEET DREAMS Reply with quote

OK,want do you want to talk about, dreams, ?...tell me yours, an i`ll tell you mine...waahooo............lol....... Wink ......but not till the moro, tis time for my rejuvination thingy... Smile
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EssexGurl



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 222

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have very weird dreams, a public forum is possibly not the best place to share them. I dont want any doubt about my sanity or sometimes lack of it removed.
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello Ivan Thought I would pop in and out the site as the OH has gone to play his guitar with his mates , so am spending the evening on the magic box flitting back and forward from here to family history research.
Is all well in Jaywick tonight ,a bit on the gusty side yesterday ..
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hiya Lin, well gusty tonight.....how you doing with you past ? found many skeletons yet....lol... i tried all that, but, long story about me family i`m afraid....better let you get "focused" Lin, as it may be an early barth an bed for me.....me OH has gone over the road to stay at daughter No. 2`s tonight, so me beds all mine....ok, no naughty thoughts young lady..... i`m almost a respectable bloke....sometimes...
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Before i go orf, dont know why, but had a flashback from when i was a cab driver. me being me, i always got on well with the prettier of the two sexes, well, one particular of group of girls went to a nightclub in GREYS town center (not the best of places) anyway, my thing was to say to my prettier passengers that if they mucked me about tooooo much, i would bite their bum.... that always got the more adventurous of them going...lol.....a bit like "keywords".....well, they had booked a return for 2-30 in the morning, but thought they had booked for 2-15 and were giving the cab controller grief coz i was`nt there... the controler gave me grief on the radio, as it was sh*t hit the fan time busy, so, as i got to the girls dead on 2-30... ( i had to do LARGE m.p.hours on the M25 to be on time )... i went over to the noisy of the group, said i`d bite aforsaid bum if i had any trouble, so i picked her up, put over my shoulder, so as i turned my head to the right, very nice bum was just there in front of me teeth, and yup, bit her bum, she squealed, her mates much laughed, lady with bit bum laughed, dropped her shoes (white stilletoes i think = was essex..lol.)... so i had to put bit bum on car seat, go back to get shoes left in road, usher the rest of giggling girlies into cab, then as i looked up, not only many peoples that were outside of club were shouting and cheering, i also had the attention of essex police officers who had watched some looney grab a girl of the street, bite her bum, and throw her in a cab`s back seat.......so ivan the terrible done the right thing in that situation.... started cab, into gear, HEAVY right foot on pedal and was gone in his white charger into the night with squeeling, laughing girlies in the cab around me....... it took a long time for all the girlies to stop giving me grief over that.......i think they liked the thought of being "picked up" and "taken"...........lol.......
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooh Ivan ,just read your post on the other channel ,cor that told em.I totally agree with you on all your points.
My poor old Dad worked his guts out in a manual job,His hands were useless and he ended up with osteoarthritis in his spine ,burnt out by 58 .He hated being on 'sick benefits' and the humiliation he had to go through to get it.He had paid in all his life and was a proud man.I lost him and Mum so they never got their pension and the means testing they would have hated.
OOOOOH i GET SO ANGRY.
and carers allowance for a 168 hour week is about 47.00p whoopee Surprised Surprised
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dont fret Lin, get under the duvet and have a cuddle........uuuuummmmm
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry I have been quiet lately ,had a dose of that rotten cold.
Anyhow,if you want a real laugh ,please have a look at Talkclacton re;fireworks.
Ivan has put a post on there that I defy you not to laugh at,it took me a few minutes to recover after reading about how to exterminate rats.
Ivan ,I always suspected you and your mates were mad ,now I am reassured that you are bonkers. Wink
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ivan burit



Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 1238
Location: live the life you love, love the life you lead, if that fails, buy a big Harley Davidson.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ivan ,I always suspected you and your mates were mad ,now I am reassured that you are bonkers.............lol.....yup......Anyway, today i was in the Tesco filling station, filling up the 'bucket' ? and i happened to say to the girls that worked behind the counter that my daughter had 6 inches of snow in Romford......well that started if off....one of the nice girls complained that she wished she had 6 inches, as she had`nt seen 6 inches for a long time....lol...well for once i had to stay quiet, i actually raised my EYES (nothing else) to the ceiling as if to say:- i dare not answer that one as it had other customers queing also at the tills...........lol....and so its a 'short' but sweet story this time...................oh, by the way Lin, i hope you have got over your dose....ho ho ho.....xxxx
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Lin



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 533
Location: Gt Clacton

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Talking about petrol stations .I used to work part-time in one.
There was a vacuum there that you had to buy tokens for, either 60p or 1.00p depending on how long you wanted to use it for.
A customer came in to buy a token and I innocently asked if he wanted a long suck or a short one. Embarassed .The penny didn't drop just what I had said until my work-mate fell on the floor laughing Embarassed .
Another time a customer asked what time we turned the car wash off and I said not to worry as it goes all night.... Embarassed
The girls still give me grief even now....
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