Haha, hello again I suppose =D Nice to know I'm not in the same category as our 'friends' on one too many councils...
A little while ago I panicked whilst in Colchester for a night out thinking I'd seen Stephanny, then I realised that he never goes anywhere without his moether a few foot behind -_- You'd think at 20-something he'd be dying to leave home and have a bit of independance hm?
Perhaps the saddest thing is that because of the behaviour of so many "politicians", the people who genuinely believe in the old fashioned principles of running for councillor in order to serve their community and help improve the place get ignored or lumped with the large number of bad apples in the barrel.
Perhaps the saddest thing is that because of the behaviour of so many "politicians", the people who genuinely believe in the old fashioned principles of running for councillor in order to serve their community and help improve the place get ignored or lumped with the large number of bad apples in the barrel.
I must admit pepsi, it is saddening to see politics in such disrepute, can't ever remember when so much cynical distrust existed, maybe it's a function of awareness?
Could it be that we are all able to hold them to account nowdays with the advancing technology available ,after all 10 years ago we would not be communicating via the internet so would have been oblivious to their faults and gossip in public places ?.
We used to play a game in our house on the day the local paper came out ,it was called Spot the Pointer ,where we had to guess how many people were pictured in the paper pointing at various things that had disgruntled them.
Now we have a new game Spot The Councillor
Anyone noticed that hardly a week goes by without seeing our two junior 'members' (oh am I allowed to use that word as I know another meaning for it which relates to a certain part of the anatomy )in full colour (please could the paper tone down the red shade I need sunglasses to look at ...Tah Dah ...Crisp Man ).
Not missed a week since attaining their post of power.
I may have to stop buying the local rag as it has begun to give me Baaad dreams....
I don't need to look any farther than the Gazette for a word to describe them. The paper has habitually called them "fledgling councillors", as in something like "Fledgling councillors reject free computers" (I would have paid good money to hear what some of the older councillors said as they felt obliged to follow suit). "What a cracking idea these new lads have come up with. We'll save the council thousands. Can't wait to see what they do next". (Shouts downstairs) "Parker. Load the Purdeys and put them in the boot. Then bring the Bentley round to the front. We're going out".
Anyway, my dictionary defines fledgling as:
1 A young bird which has only just developed flight feathers and not yet left the nest. (How apt)
2 One who is young and inexperienced. (Apter)
Lin, may I hijack your "Spot the Pointer" and "Spotty Councillor" games?
I would like to offer a modest prize to the first reader who spots a picture of someone pointing at the fledgling councillors. Wouldn't that make an excellent caption competition?
All we need to do is keep a lookout for a family day out somewhere ,where the Spotty Councillors think the photographer from the paper will appear to take some delightful picture of a kiddie having a fun time, then check the area for SC 's on the prowl for a photo opportunity , when they home in on the kiddie doing the best Lurker in the World impression then as you spot the certain SC creep up behind him and give him 'Bunny Ears' from behind ...just as he gets his photo taken for the following weeks paper.....
First one to achieve this in the paper gets a Drink from me and I will even go down on bended knees to do a 'Bill and Ted' "I am not worthy"
Yoou sem to be suspiciously well-versed in the art of stalking. But there's no shame in that.
Does anyone have any idea of whether there might be a pram race in the Eastern Counties some time in the next few months? (He asked innocently) We could form a circle and point at the one that takes eight big geezers to start it rolling.
Puberty, then GCSEs then inertia. What next? Where will it all end?
My dictionary just says it's a 'a man' so I am afraid that the word geezer cannot be allocated to one so delicate of mind and body (sorry ,fits of laughter whilst typing this as I just had an awful mental image pop up ).
'
My Suggestion for an alternate name would have to be.....pupa....... an insect at the stage of development between larva and adult' Tah Dah............I'm orf before anyone puts me back in the naughty corner .........
Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject: Miss whiplasses daughter.......
Oh lordy-lordy-lordy...
Young Lin, i`ll let you know that its been known for some mad scooty blokes to grab miss whiplashes up and place them in a position as to spank them pert.(ish) behinds for being SO naughty......lol..
I am a mole and I live in a hole ha ha ha ha
Darnation Vicar ,you beat me to it again ,saw the article and laughed myself orf my chair so am typing this from the floor.
Pssst anyone want a freebie ticket .....
Why the hell they have to sit up there like Lords of the Manor Gawd only knows ,is it the posh loo's or the caviar or the fact that Stephanie (Mi mi)doesn't think his mug shot will get into the papers if he mixes with us 'commoners'who pay his expenses and subsidise his tickets ,no I tink they should pay full cost and thats that.
Has he even got a regular job????????not some post that he gets via Mummys connections,Douglas should smack the back of Mimi's legs and tell him to stop throwing his toys out the pram every time he has to fund his own jollies.
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! There are already 22 comments on the article and only 22 of them are critical of the Lord. One chap is even going to emigrate. I think that's a bit extreme
Wait until the article appears in the Gazette tomorrow and the electors of Rush Green ward discover what their councillor's priorities are. Incidentally his "little" brother polled 44 more votes than he did in the election. Is that what they call "proportional representation"?
I don't know if either of them is employed but if not it does mean that there is no problem about getting a day off for this type of event, which must be a load off their minds.
Personally I would worry about being represented by councillors with so little experience of the real world.
Well Vicar,I have just asked our local chappie (not Tory) if he is going and he has assured me that he will be standing in the burger and ice cream queues like the rest of us dear mortals.
I agree with you that our representatives should have experience ,that's LIFE EXPERIENCE ,to be able to represent us fully and I am afraid that Lord Mimi does not have this basic function.
I am not against encouraging younger members into political life ,but would hate to have to talk to someone so young if I had a problem.Especially if their main priority in life is getting upset about having to spend £40 of his allowance and pocket money on a jolly.
Good job the summer holidays are here or they would demand that the date be changed so they didn't have to miss a day off school.
My old Nan would have said the two of them would go to the opening of an envelope if the press were there
i couldnt believe what i had seen, i thought there was some mistake so i actually phoned the gazette and asked them if the story was true and when they told me it was i couldnt stop laughing, have you seen todays paper? he is now saying that something completely different, i think he needs to get a proper job and start to live in the real world.
anyway lin how is my sequined leotard coming along for the pram race!!
Oh Frankie !!! didn't you realise ,stuckinessex is sewing them on for you .
I've had a good idea (shut up Ivan ,I can hear you sniggering at the back ).
What about taking my 9.99 plastic gazebo down the front ,popping it up and put up a sign saying VIP Marquee ,guide all the dignatories in it ,zip it up quick and the fast forum team can reclaim the prime positon marquee and eat the buffet whilst passing round the crisps ??????.
I myself will not be paying to enter either the official or the unofficial VIP marquees. Instead I will be makig a donation of 11 new pence to my favourite charity, Clacton's Really Intensely Sarcastic People's Syndicate
Rather than use a VIP toilet (my imagination is running riot at the facilities that might be provided) I shall continue to employ the time-honoured Clacton practice of finding an unoccupied shop doorway.
For my meal I shall I shall visit Macdonalds and ask the chubby boy behind the counter (looks strangely familiar) to recommend something from their extensive menu. You can usually rely on them to know what they are talking about.
They are highly trained. (At least they've got jobs!)
All to be washed down with a flagon of cloudy scrumpy from Morrisons.
I intend spending most of the afternoon standing outside the official VIP tent tugging my forelock at the various dignitaries as they gracefully enter and leave
FORELOCK Ivan, FORELOCK!
(Just an afterthought. Look at the entrance to the VIP tent, just past the scruffy vicar with his hands in his pockets, and try and spot what arrangements are in place to ensure that only the right sort of people get in. What would happen if an elderly lady was taken short and rushed the barricades, desperate to use the facilities she was subsidising in her council taxes. Would we see a picture in the local paper of our couoncillors pointing at her as she was dragged away?)
Too much communion wine always brings out my inner leftie. Sorry.
Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:52 am Post subject: I`m orf me rocker......is that chair or char....
Look, just for nearly once in our lives, praps we can take little lordy - lordy mayzes to our hard old hearts and give him the benefit of doubt....
Nah..s*d that, he`s a creep and we know it..........lol....even the most reverend in our poor unfortunate souls knows just that, you know him, of the shaking cassock..........
After deep thoughts...(and i dont mean lin in super tight lycra either) i / we, in the outposts of west clackers have come up with a plan, a secret plan at that, to take No.1 sons camper..(no not that sort of camp) and go and park it near to the life boat station on the night before..then...shush...we can sit and wait till the super stars in the skies start....
If we get fed up before hand, like the good vicar, we can go and blow respberries at the vips while taking photos of them to print in the papers..
It would be like the 20 most distressed vips on a day off in the sunshine...
pass the crisps.........lol...
anyold way...change of story....29 of us mad mods rode through town tonight (thursday) and we all saw our new fountain of yoof alive and kicking for all its worth......
I thought we all could have rode our untrustworthy steads through the sumptious trophs to cleanse not only our souls, but our scoots as well, but TDC had left its early warning systems up and running by leaving its worksite cage fencing still erect around its fountain feature that was gushing like a good-un.........
I went back half an hour later in my most modest mode with my most expensive and daughter No.2 and the super gushing groundworks were gone.................lol.....
OK, the corner beckons.........
I myself will not be paying to enter either the official or the unofficial VIP marquees. Instead I will be makig a donation of 11 new pence to my favourite charity, Clacton's Really Intensely Sarcastic People's Syndicate
Rather than use a VIP toilet (my imagination is running riot at the facilities that might be provided) I shall continue to employ the time-honoured Clacton practice of finding an unoccupied shop doorway.
For my meal I shall I shall visit Macdonalds and ask the chubby boy behind the counter (looks strangely familiar) to recommend something from their extensive menu. You can usually rely on them to know what they are talking about.
They are highly trained. (At least they've got jobs!)
All to be washed down with a flagon of cloudy scrumpy from Morrisons.
I intend spending most of the afternoon standing outside the official VIP tent tugging my forelock at the various dignitaries as they gracefully enter and leave
FORELOCK Ivan, FORELOCK!
(Just an afterthought. Look at the entrance to the VIP tent, just past the scruffy vicar with his hands in his pockets, and try and spot what arrangements are in place to ensure that only the right sort of people get in. What would happen if an elderly lady was taken short and rushed the barricades, desperate to use the facilities she was subsidising in her council taxes. Would we see a picture in the local paper of our couoncillors pointing at her as she was dragged away?)
Too much communion wine always brings out my inner leftie. Sorry.
Brilliant ,Amenity I tink we shoud have a 'Post of the Week Award'
only trouble is Vicar would keep winning it.
I laughed till I nearly needed the VIP's loo.....
Regards our Crisp Boy and Lordy Lordy he amazes me.....
It would appear that a certain gene pool could do with a little chlorine...
Watch out boys ....The Peasants are revolting.....
.......I always wanted to be a very pleasent plucker myself, but to be a revolting peasant without being a pleasent pheasent plucker is not very plucky indeed...
Try that then vicar after a snifter of communial wine....HA......
I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son
I'm only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker comes.
Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes in an evening when the light is growing dim
I pluck the pheasants on my own, I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mate
I'm only plucking pheasants 'cos the pheasant plucker's late !
I'm not good at plucking pheasants, and quite often I get stuck
Though some pheasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck.
Now plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But pheasant plucking's torture because they don't have any grease.
I'm not a pheasant plucker, he has gone out on the tiles
He only plucked one pheasant and I'm sitting here with piles !
You have to pluck them fresh, you know,
When fresh they’re not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable had pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar on a Sunday ‘tween the first and second lessons. (That was me.That was.)
I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's mum
I'm only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker's come.
My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack
He plucks a pheasant every night before he hits the sack.
I like to give a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all our pheasant plucking keeps us pair together.
I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's friend
I'm only plucking pheasants as a means unto an end !
My husband's in the forest always banging with his gun
If he could hear me half the time I'm sure that he would run,
For there's fluff in all my crannies, there's feathers up my nose
And I'm itching in the kitchen from my head down to my toes.
I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's wife
And when we pluck together it's a pheasant plucking life !
That's Sunday's sermon sorted, and I never said **** once
SPEACHLESS AGAIN FOR ONCE......HA..HA..HA..
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Well done you pleasent plucker, for not saying F**k
More so you are a vicar, and not printing lots of muck
We need your daily sermons, some ending with a duck
So try to please us daily, without earning you a buck
Us heathen west clacton settlers, reputedly living in mess and muck,
Where blessed this sunny morning, with teachings of wisdom and pluck...
Looks like the terrible twosome are going for gold this week.
I have spotted them twice in the paper, .Do I win the Golden sick bag prize ??????
How about a new name for the local rag.....Mayzes Pages springs to mind.
I have a sneaky suspicion that one of them is going to pull a stunt at the Airshow....now which one will it be ??? who will they be using to gain further useless publicity???? any ideas ??? Wouldn't surprise me if one of them turns up with a Granny in tow claiming there are no facilities for the elderly.....Watch this space..first one to spot a blatent waste of column space wins the Spot the Talentless award.
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)in full colour (please could the paper tone down the red shade I need sunglasses to look at 
...Tah Dah ...Crisp Man 
Tah Dah............I'm orf before anyone puts me back in the naughty corner 
